Season 2, Episode 3: Claiming Power for Self + Sharing Power across Generations, Part 2 with Mary E. Scott Boria
“We’ve got to believe that there’s a ‘next point’ that’s going to be better… if we don’t believe that, how do we encourage [young people] to believe in that?” - Mary Scott Boria
Every person desires (and deserves) respect and collaboration. How can we work together in intergenerational spaces for social justice to create shared power that makes a real and collective difference?
In this episode, you’ll hear Part 2 of my two-part conversation with Mary Scott Boria. We’re talking about our lived experiences as young activists seeking mentorship and seasoned activists learning to mentor.
Mary and I discuss how to create and invite dialogue between generations, how we might build a conversation (rather than deliver a lecture), how to build intergenerational relationships and collaborations, plus how to acknowledge the personhood of the people we’re working with (and why that’s important).
Mary also tells me about her intergenerational book club (that gathers more for conversation than reading books!) and why she encourages everyone she mentors to find a way to nurture their soul.
“[To young activists:] We see you. We’re still here. We’re in this together. And we love you.” - Mia Henry & Mary Scott Boria
Listen to the Full Episode
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
[0:47] - How Mary experiences shared power in intergenerational spaces
[5:14 ]- Considering what social justice work felt like when we were young
[9:14] - Who’s teaching who?
[11:53] - Why open dialogue between & among generations is vital
[16:23] - The most successful campaigns led by young people include the support of experienced mentorship
[20:17] - How to build intergenerational relationships & collaborations
[26:46] - Mary’s advice for leaders trying to share power
[31:51] - A call to get out of our heads & find a way to nurture our souls
Featured On The Show:
Mary Scott Boria is an educator, social worker, and organizer with 50 years of active experience fighting and working for racial and gender equity. She currently serves in various leadership roles for multiple social justice nonprofits and provides thoughtful, experienced mentorship to youth activists fighting for change. She’s served on the boards of many different nonprofit organizations, local and national. Mary is also a devoted mother and grandmother who delights in staying active with her family and crafting to explore and illustrate the social justice issues closest to her heart.
Additional Resources:
Letters From Young Activists: Today’s Rebels Speak Out edited by Dan Berger, Chesa Boudin, and Kenyon Farrow with a preface by Bernadine Dohrn
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Full Episode Transcript:
Mia (00:00):
Welcome back, Mary Scott Boria for part two of our discussion on, um, on sharing power with you. I have so enjoyed talking to you about your journey and activism and all the organizations that have touched you and all of the places that you have touched. So I wanted to continue today talking because we met at, the Challenge <laugh>, um, when, you know, when I started working, um, outside of the classroom with young people to help them grow as activists and organizers. And you were right there alongside me and the young people. So I would love for you to talk a bit about where you've seen power shared successfully. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> and intergenerational settings.
Mary (00:46):
Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. Wow. You know, I was sort of thinking about that and I realize that I, I've grown older, my population seems to have grown younger, and so it feels like almost every opportunity I've had over the years has put me in intergenerational spaces. So, and I would say that, that, you know, maybe in my late thirties, early forties, I joined Youth Service Project, which was an organization in Humbolt Park. And that was youth. I mean, I worked with youth, youth, were the, um, participants in our programs. But I would say that my work was primarily with young staff. Not necessarily, I mean, the, the staff worked with young people in the community and older people in the community, but for the most part, the staff were all young people who were, maybe this was their first job. This was their first opportunity. And so that put me in, in alignment with what young people were hoping to do with their careers.
Mary (01:55):
And I had a wonderful time working with young people. I mean, I, I remember thinking that as much as this is a space where work is happening, it's also a space where young people are learning to be in a career and to grow professionally in their own life. And so the job was much more about how to encourage them and walk alongside of them and mentor them. And sometimes the, even the leadership of the organization didn't really understand that when you hire young people to work alongside you, they're not necessarily as equipped as maybe you'd like for them to be in order to do the job. And that the job is really as much about the work that they're doing as much as it is about your work with them and mentoring them. And so that is when I sort of came to the realization that you really have to invest in, you really have to believe that your site, your job site, your work site, your work is really a, a learning environment for those who are working, because they will fail in many ways because we'll have expectations based upon your own life experience or your own work experience.
Mary (03:14):
And that's kind of unfair to them because, you know, you're, you want them to relate to a clientele or to the public that are often not that much older than they are and provide, you know, whatever care and services and support and advocate for them in the community when these are young people who are still forming their own sort of professional and, and even personal identities. So sort of came to the realization that when you are in intergenerational spaces, that you really have to change the way in which you approach whatever the project is, whatever the work is, whatever you're doing, to both absorb the energy that young people bring because they bring a lot of energy and they bring a lot of desires to move in sort of proactive ways in the spaces that they're in. And sometimes if you're older and more seasoned, you kind of get impatient with that.
Mary (04:13):
'cause you kind of want to slow down, slow down, we'll get there. And so you gotta figure out how to modulate that. I would say that every sort of opportunity since then has been in spaces where it's very intergenerational. And I tend to be, as I said, as I grow older, I tend to be the old one in the space. And I'm, I'm involved with younger people, and I, I love the energy. I mean, I feel very much like they add life. They add a, a piece of life to the work and stress. I mean, there's a, there's some stress that goes along with energy generational, because the older you get and the more seasoned and experience you get, you judge your settings based upon your own experience. And you have to really stop and think about where other folks are and how do you incorporate and embrace sort of where they are in their own journey.
Mary (05:09):
And I feel as if I've had the privilege of working alongside younger people. When I worked at youth service, when I worked at the Associated College of the Midwest, these were all young college students. And you know how young college students are, they know everything <laugh>, they come out the gate knowing everything. And, uh, sometimes your knowledge is very old school. And so you have to really kind of understand. I, I think a lot about where I was when I age, wanting very much to make a difference and wanting to prove myself. And maybe not even thinking about what I needed as a young person, but thinking, I'm, I'm prepared and I'm equipped. And you have to really kind of think about that. You know, they say, do you remember what you were like when you were a teenager? You know, I think you have to sort of embrace where young people are in their lives because, you know, we were there at one point in our lives.
Mary (06:08):
And, uh, sometimes we forget, you know, the older we get, the more knowledge we have, the more we see the world very differently. I think it's important to recognize that we were at a space at one point where we expected there to be grace, and we expected there to be support. We expected them, we expected to be accepted for everything we thought we knew. And so I think it's important to really understand that and, and, and really try to figure out how to incorporate that energy into the work that you're doing, you know, with, with younger people.
Mia (06:41):
Yeah, absolutely. You know, I remember there was a, a book letters to young activists. I believe I'm, I'm, I'm gonna have to look it up, but it was a book that was co-written by Dan Berger. They had taken their work on the road and done some town halls with intergenerational groups around the country, around movement organizing. And I hope I get this right, but they were saying that oftentimes what happens with older folks when they're in the room with young people, or when they're thinking about young people in movement building, they take one of three approaches, right? I know what's best, <laugh>, I've been there, I've done it already. So we're gonna do it my way. It's my way or the highway. Right? Or it is, you know what? I'm retired. You, you know, I've done enough. I'm just gonna let you, you know, you leave, you do it on your own.
Mia (07:32):
You got it. You don't need me. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, right? And then I think the third way was, you wanna say that I'm here and I believe in you. Right? I'm here when you need me as you need me. I'm believe in you. I'm not going anywhere. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. Right? But we are in this together. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. That was, that was the point. And trying to remind ourselves of that all the time. And always felt like you really modeled that every time I was in a room with you. 'cause you became, you stayed curious. I find so, so often I would get frustrated with this as a young person, and it's all relative, right? Like, so as a young person, as a teen, when I'm in the room with people in their thirties, if I'm in my <laugh> twenties in the room with someone in my, in their forties, you know, it was always like the older generation, a lot of that wanting to prove oneself is because we kind of get secretly silenced Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> by an older generation. Right. Or we have this deference. Right. And whether they mean it or not, whether older folks, uh, me as an older person or me looking up to an older generation means it or not, if they don't ask questions of young people, then a lot of times young people don't feel like that they input is welcome. Mm-Hmm.
Mary (08:43):
<affirmative>. Right?
Mia (08:45):
So they won't say anything at all. Or they'll say things even more impassionately like, you know, in a way to try to prove Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> that they deserve to be there as well. Right? Right. It doesn't come in this, in this way of, of, uh, what I call mutual mentorship. You know? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, I used to always say, I'm surprised there are not more programs out there where there's, like, there's mutual mentorship. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. So the older person is helping in one. You know, you all meet every week, but each week you switch off on who's helping, who do what, you know, <laugh> Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, you know? Yeah, yeah. Who's teaching who, what, because we do have so much to learn. I mean, we were talking right before we started recording today about how much you te you text a lot more, right? You're on your phone a lot more than on a, on a computer screen, right? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. Um, and texting in itself, young people taught people how to text. I remember the <crosstalk> who this was something that young people told the world to do.
Mary (09:41):
Right. Who, who do you think I call when I need some technical assistance? I was, I, when I first got my car, my new car, which I've had now for almost eight years, you know, it had on the car you could connect to, you know, your phone, you can connect your phone to the car. Right. And I'm fumbling around. I can't do this. I can't figure out how to do this. And my granddaughter, now, mind you, this was eight years ago. She's 15. So how old was she? Eight years ago? She was seven years old. And she's like, grandma <laugh>, let me show you how to do this. You know? And I was like, okay. Five minutes later she had figured out how to connect my phone to the phone in the car. Right. And I was like, how did you do that? Well, you know, so I don't wanna necessarily reduce sort of this intergenerational sort of divide to just technology.
Mary (10:36):
Right? Right. But it's sort of like, there's so much, I mean, I sit in the car with my grandkids and I'm, I'm really listening. I'm really listen what they're telling me because, you know, otherwise sometimes I miss it. And, you know, my granddaughter, she checks me all the time. You know, she's 15 years old and, you know, I realize that their knowledge base is so much more than ours because they're incorporating new information, new knowledge. And sometimes we forget that, you know, sometimes we forget. I always thought, why are kids so much smarter than we were? Well, because they're, they're incorporating new knowledge that was built on sort of the knowledge base that we had. But it's new and it's different. And sometimes it's not new. Maybe sometimes it is just a reformulation of the old, but we just have to accept that sometimes we don't know everything.
Mary (11:43):
And, um, we have to really open up our ears and we have to listen. And I think we have to figure out what kind of a dialogue do we want to have with young people so that they will talk to us. I was at a meeting several weeks ago in a community that my daughter is working in, and there was a panel, and the panel were all sort of older people my age and even few older. And there were a lot of young people in the audience. And I was like so impressed that they had been able to get all these young people out to this meeting. And boy, the minute one of the speakers got up and started pointing her finger, I thought, oh boy, she just really have shut this crowd down. And, you know, it was a lot of young people who you could see on their faces, oh my God, when can we get outta here?
Mary (12:32):
There was no dialogue. It was just really, this is what you need this. And I know that we have a tendency to do that. I do that with my, with my kids. And I think sometimes you have to be conscious of, you know, how do you wanna have a conversation? You know, how do you wanna do that so that they will open up and share with you their experience. And I, it's hard. It's, it's hard 'cause you're full of many years of experience that you want to share, that you want to have the opportunity to, you know, pass down to someone else. But you, we also have to sort of figure out how are they receiving it? What are they receiving? How do they get to speak? And how do they get to feel like they, they own, you know, their own world. You know, that the world that they live in is what they understand. And how do they share that with you? It's a constant struggle of consciousness, I think. <laugh>.
Mia (13:30):
Yeah. Yeah. And there's so few opportunities, and I agree. I don't want to, I brought up the texting example, but we're not distilling Right. That young people's contributions to the world through <laugh>. Right. Technology only. Right. The fact that they're digital natives, that's not really the point. It's, I feel like that example of young people teaching the world to text and, and other people were very resistant to it in the beginning. Right. That's what I'm saying. <laugh>. But they were showing us a new way to navigate the world. Right. And so I felt like, you know, it, it's a metaphor for the what we need in, in building our movements for change. Right. Right. They know new ways of doing things. Right. We should be infinitely curious about those new ways. Right. And, and instead, I think we miss a lot of opportunities in rooms like what you just described, trying to tell people about, tell everybody, and especially young people with the finger pointing. Right. It's tell them how to do it the old way.
Mary (14:27):
Right. Right.
Mia (14:29):
As if the old way worked. Like if we <laugh>, you know what I mean? Like Right. There's so much, so much. Yeah. Like I said, missed opportunity, I think in those rooms. And, you know, I hate panels anyway. Right. Mary <laugh>, I cannot stand a panel <laugh>. Right. The revolution will not come through the panels. So it makes it feel like they're, they can be be elitist, they can be paternalistic in ways. Right? Yeah. Just the whole setup. Yeah. And it takes a lot to break up that dynamic that a panel creates. Yeah. And then especially if you have one where there's all people of one generation or one way of doing things, or one frame of thinking, and then everyone else is in the room. Right. The worst thing we do to me is just reduce everyone to only an opportunity to ask questions at the end. Right.
Mary (15:17):
Right.
Mia (15:18):
We hate it when people act actually have something to say. Right.
Mary (15:22):
Right. I mean, teaching will certainly, uh, check you <laugh>, you know, especially when you're teaching young people who are at the point of consciousness about the world and their life. Yeah. I mean, teaching will really sort of simmer down your, I mean, you can be very authoritative in the classroom, but oftentimes you won't get a very good response. And especially once young people get to the age of sort of college age or whatever, you know, where they're really starting to learn new ideas. They will, they will put you in check real, real, real fast. So you have to sort of figure out, you know, okay, what kind of a person do I wanna be? You know, how do I wanna be in this space? And, you know, I just feel like young people really do have a lot to offer. You just have to figure out how do you wade through their energy in a way that lets you take it in and really use it. I mean, use it to create this mutual energy back and forth.
Mia (16:26):
And often, I mean, we talk about how so many movements are, have been led Right. By young people. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. But it's not really the whole story. Yeah. It's the, the most successful campaigns led by young people or those young people have had the support Yeah. Of mentorship and elders. Right, right, right. So they're not doing it alone. Right.
Mary (16:51):
Right.
Mia (16:51):
<laugh>, but they are leading. Right. So that's, I think is the, is oftentimes our missing, the missing story. Right? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> behind so much of this, it's either young people or it's not, you know? Right. It's one or the other. Right. Intergenerational to me, if we look deep enough, really is the context for all of our most successful movement building. Mm-Hmm.
Mary (17:13):
<affirmative>. I agree.
Mia (17:14):
Thank you so much for talking me through that a bit. I haven't had that conversation yet with anyone. Truly not on the podcast anyway, <laugh> around shared power, so I couldn't I can't think of a better person to talk about it. No.
Mary (17:27):
Than you. Well, like I say, the older I get, the younger folks are, and I said, well, when I get to working with young people who are the age of my grandkids, maybe I'll stop working with young people. 'cause maybe I have have updated myself. But I just, you know, and I, I really do appreciate how young people, you know, people say, oh, young people, they don't, they don't respect elders. And no, I, I disagree with that. Uh, yes, there is a, there is a crowd out there that has no respect for anybody, but I believe I've always been welcomed with a lot of graciousness, and I appreciate that. And so I really do appreciate how much young people wanna absorb. They want to absorb, they just need it in a certain way. You know, they, they need to, they need to feel you. They need to feel who you are.
Mary (18:19):
You know, like you say, it's not a, it's not a transactional relationship. It's a relationship. And the, the ability to be able to relate in a way that appreciates young people without words, but ways in which we welcome them in the room that we, uh, acknowledge their presence. Those kinds of things matter. And, uh, and young people need it, even though they may be, you know, have a lot of energy and don't have a lot of social graces, sometimes they still need it. And so I think that's a, an important aspect of how you mentor and support.
Mia (18:55):
Yes. I think often about, you know, Ella Baker, right? When I think about what it means to grow as a responsible elder, right? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> and not just the support and the advice and the presence that she gave the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee, even before they were a student nonviolent coordinating committee. That wasn't the only group of young people, but it's the case study. I know the most of her really being there to create a space for their independence.
Mary (19:24):
Yeah, yeah.
Mia (19:25):
So they wouldn't just be absorbed as a, I think the youth arm of the SELC is what they were originally, you know, they were trying to, well, SELC was trying to make that happen, right. Um, but she was like, no, let these young people create their own organization in their own way. And they were much bolder in a lot of ways, much more experimental, much more courageous. They did, they did things differently. Right. And we need that in our movements. We need people doing things differently. Not everyone doing things the same way, or being absorbed into one or two organizations. That's not the way that works. And so I think about her a lot and just not just, again, supporting them, but also refusing, standing up to other people her age, <laugh>. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> Right. And saying, no, don't get in these young folks way Right. About that a lot. And what, and how I wanna be able to, to stand up in that same way.
Mary (20:19):
Right. I'm in a, a relationship now, um, with a young woman that I met when she was 16, and that was about two years ago. And I met her through the Freedom School two years ago. And we, she and I and another woman who is out in California are on Zoom or the phone every week. And she is now a graduating from, uh, junior college going on to university. That young woman is so brilliant. She, I mean, at 16 she was so brilliant. So at 18 she's even more brilliant. And we have, we call ourselves the book club. It's just the three of us. We never read a book, or every now and then we read a book, but we're like, okay, let's, let's read, you know, let's have a book series. And we get on the phone and we're on the phone for hours.
Mary (21:13):
And I learned so much from her because she's so smart, you know, and I'm, and I'm just sort of sitting there observe, absorbing her knowledge because she's so smart. And I just, you know, I look forward and I'm sorry sometimes that I can't get on the phone 'cause I might be too busy. But she'll reach out and say, okay, it's time for a book club <laugh>. And we get on it and we sort of have our chat. Sometimes it's personal, we get rid of the personal stuff. But it's always a very sort of intellectual outward looking conversation that she feels like she's absorbing sort of what our experiences have been, but we're absorbing her energy and her curiosity about the world. And that, you know, I I, I really look forward to that. And I just wish more people felt the patience to sort of stop and, you know, and be in those spaces. Yeah. Yes.
Mia (22:10):
Yeah. I know. That's, um, oh, I love that. Your book club, we all don't read books, <laugh>. Right. I think that's what everybody really wants, actually. <laugh> and they propose a book club. Right. And not, maybe not everyone, but that's what I would think. I just wanna get together and talk to people about ideas, you know, <laugh>, so the book becomes the cover, you know?
Mary (22:33):
Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah.
Mia (22:35):
But that's beautiful. That's what I mean about that mutual mentorship, you know? Mm-Hmm. And just how much more I have grown, you know, I'm about to turn 50, so I don't know what I am. Uh, thank you. Thank you. <laugh> <laugh>. I'm, I'm very proud of it, actually. I, it's making me think about a lot of things. Right. You retro, this is definitely age where you're looking back and looking forward. Right,
Mary (22:56):
Right.
Mia (22:57):
But I was in circle with the Davis putter scholars, many of the Davis putter scholars this past weekend at Highlander. Hmm. They're all young. Uh, well, yeah. Relatively young people to me. Right. <laugh>, um, who are pursuing degrees as activists. Right. And they're, they're all enrolled in, in some type of degree bearing program. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. Um, and the Davis Putter scholarship helps them in some type of way financially. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. But scholarship really benefits so much from being able to touch so many movements and so many folks who are working in movement communities around the country. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And I just, I couldn't wait. I was gonna just be able to go and be in Circle <laugh>. And it was, that was my intention. You know, I love facilitating. So I remember saying my biggest intention at the beginning of the week was to simply provide a warm and affirming space for, for those folks.
Mia (23:50):
Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And so it wasn't about, had no interest in like, teaching anything. Mm-Hmm. Telling them stuff or making sure they did things a certain way when they go back, or could have you. I just wanted to be in the room <laugh> learn and hold space in the way that I know how, in order for people to get a little bit of rest. Right. In what is really unprecedented time Yeah. For, for our movement. So that I came back so filled, we said at the end, you know, I didn't get a lot of sleep. You stay up talking, you know, these are the types of places you stay up talking Yeah. All weekend. So I was saying I didn't get a lot of sleep, but I feel rested. Yeah. Part of it is the how much encouragement and inspiration <laugh> Mm-Hmm. <affirmative> I received from just knowing they're doing the work they're doing. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And now knowing that they're in community truly with one another. 'cause this was the first time they were meeting each other Ah,
Mary (24:45):
Okay.
Mia (24:45):
As well. So yeah. This, just being able to just sit and feel and take things in and not talk so much <laugh>. Right. That is what is so important, I feel like, to me as I get older. Yeah,
Mary (24:58):
Yeah. Yeah.
Mia (24:59):
Have the privilege of, of being in rooms where young people aren't rolling their eyes
Mary (25:03):
<laugh>. Right, exactly. You know, I have contact with a lot of my former students and I just am so impressed with not only what they're doing and what they're thinking, but how much they want relationships, you know, that they want to have, you know, they're not, they're, they're balls of energy and, and that energy always flowing, right? Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. But they also want to have, they wanna think about, okay, what could I be like as a, an elder, let's say? And um, I want to spend some time with you. I always sort of think, oh, I know all these young people, now they're having babies. I should be making quilts for all of them <laugh>. So, so that we can nurture their little, their children. And I know my friend Miriam, she's wonderful. She, she crochets all kinds of stuff for those little babies. And you know, that's a way to sort of pass on your, your skills through the generation. You know, it doesn't always have to be sort of these broad, big ideas. It's just caring about each other and showing that you're not so far removed in your life, uh, from people that you can't take time to just be present with them. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And I think that's, that's an important thing that we can sort of model. You know, we can model how to be present with people.
Mia (26:35):
So you are a person who I believe has a natural inclination to share power in whatever room you're in. And it has been such, uh, an honor to be able to talk to you about that, uh, in our conversations. Um, my last question for you is, is there any one piece of advice that you would like to give leaders who are truly trying to share power in their communities?
Mary (27:02):
You know, it's probably cliche or it's probably, you know, without mention that sort of being open to what's new in the world, in their world is so important. I mean, young people, all people wanna be validated and they wanna be validated for what they bring to the table. And so it's real important to figure out how to validate each other. You know, I'm one of these kind of people in my life where I'm sort of like, okay, I gotta get this right. I gotta get this right. So when I send an email, I'll send an email and I'll just get to the point and then I stop. And now I tell myself, okay, now go back to the beginning of the email and add your social graces. You know, say <laugh>, how are you? It's so good. And you know, I forget that 'cause I wanna like get to the point.
Mary (27:54):
Right. And so I sort of forget sometimes how important it is to create that moment where you are acknowledging the personhood of the person or the people or the crowd or the circle or the place where you are to acknowledge that. And it really helps, I think, to calm the space and calm the moment. And I just started this practice with my family and they were a little resistant. And I said, okay, every day at 10 o'clock, just breathe. Just, just take a moment to breathe. You don't need to meditate, you don't need to think about nothing. Just breathe. Let's do it all together. And let's just take a moment to breathe. Now I got a little pushback from the kids, from my kids <laugh>, I don't have time. I gotta do this, gotta do this. Okay, do what you can, but just take a moment to breathe.
Mary (28:50):
Just pause. Know that you are enough. I just think that it's important to know, to acknowledge that you are enough, that you have what you need. And that if you feel like you don't have what you need, it's perfectly okay to ask for what you need. And you know, one of the things that I find oftentimes about young people, if they don't have the permission to ask, if they don't feel like it's okay to ask that maybe what they're asking is silly or insignificant, they won't ask you. And so I think it's important to open up that door and open up that space and allow young people to feel that the space that they're in is okay. And I think for leaders, for young leaders, you're okay. You don't have to prove yourself. You know, you have to be consistent and you have to figure out how to be consistent.
Mary (29:44):
You have to figure out how to be present. I had a boss once who said 90% of life is showing up. And I've always sort of believed that you have to show up, you have to be committed. And when you can't show up, it's okay to say, I can't show up right now. You gotta figure out how to be strong in that moment. Sometimes, you know, we hide, I find this a lot of times that, you know, you're afraid that somebody's gonna judge you because you didn't show up. You didn't do what you were supposed to do or whatever. And I think we have to be honest with ourselves and we have to really find the humanity in each other. And I think the more we shed ourselves of this false sort of curtain, um, that says, I'm this kind of person and, uh, you know, I'm not gonna be liked or reg highly regarded unless people see how smart I am, you know, how well put together I am.
Mary (30:46):
I think sometimes we have to figure out how to shed that a little bit and show a little bit of who you are. Show me who you are. And I think if we sort of can make those kind of connections, it takes you very far. Your humanity and my humanity needs to meet each other and figure out how we do that. But I do think it requires some humility and honesty and trusting yourself. And I know with young people, it's a matter of growing into that maturity. It, it doesn't happen when you're a person. You're young, you wanna put on this veneer of who you are. And you want other people to see you as who you are, as who you think you are or who you wanna be. You don't want them to see you as a scared not knowing person or whatever, or too arrogant.
Mary (31:34):
You really put that on. And I think it's important to recognize we appreciate each other more when we show a little bit more of really who we are in our gut and in our soul. And when you open that space and allow people to feel comfortable sharing that piece of who they are, it goes very far. So I would say for young leaders, find a way to nurture your soul. I have a good friend and she sort of said to me one day, we were talking about something, we were talking about, you know, the different ways in which people find their spirit and soul. And so every now and then we'll say, it's in my spirit. It's in my spirit. And then when I say that, I feel, oh man, you're right. It's in my spirit. And so, you know, I just wish that we could strip away the curtains a bit and be given permission and give permission to allow people to show a little bit of who they are and how they are in the world. And that's tricky. 'cause sometimes you're in spaces that ain't accepting of you too much, and you're not willing to give that within yourself. Find your spirit Yeah. And lead from your spirit, le lead from your heart, from your spirit. Not always from your head, but sometimes more from your spirit. And find that space.
Mia (32:52):
I love that. And you know, when you talked about having your family take a moment to breathe, it's almost like opening the door. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, right. Um, for us to reconnect with our spirits. That's what I feel like that time to breathe is. And several breaths sometimes I need to take to get to the spirit. <laugh>, the first breath is just to stop what I'm doing. Right. Right. Third breath is just to call my nervous system. Right. Right. And then once, if we keep breathing just for a minute or two, we can move into a space where we are re we are able to reconnect if that is our intention. And so I love the fact that you, and even though they're, they're resistant, I have to talk to your kids. They need to take breath to make you get it <laugh>. Um, even if when we're resistant, that probably means we need it even more. Right.
Mary (33:42):
Right. You know, they say, we don't have time. I don't have time. I'm too busy. And I'm like, but you're breathing all the time. Just be a little more conscious of it. Right? Yeah.
Mia (33:51):
Yeah. And
Mary (33:52):
How powerful it is. Um, it's your life. It's your lifeline. Yeah. It
Mia (33:57):
Truly is. It truly is. And just to be in a room and a room of intergenerational room where we are breathing together. Yeah. Yeah. And giving each other permission to be real and to be, to be open and to be human with one another. It truly is. It does sound like, you know, I always, I say these things all the time and I'm like, I know B is so, so kumbaya, <laugh>. I was like, yeah, but this is really it, you know? Yeah. Yeah. This is the, the essence of our, our ability to survive. We can't just keep moving in these transactional ways that, you know, are the, the engine to, to capitalism <laugh>. Right. You have to find other ways to be with one another.
Mary (34:38):
Right Now, you know, young people, especially young people, are being really called upon in this moment to exert their energy around all the awful things that are going around in the world. They're being called upon, their feet are to the ground, and they've gotta create ways in which they are pulling together the masses. It's on their shoulders. And, you know, that doesn't mean that we have backed away, but we don't always have the energy. And so we are relying so much upon them to call forth this moment. Yeah. And it's only fair to them that the ways in which we can support them is to kind of create opportunities for them. And I don't mean we are the ones creating the opportunities 'cause they can create their own opportunities, but to recognize how much energy they're putting into the world to save the world. Yes.
Mary (35:41):
And all we can do is really appreciate honor and support that and help them to get to the next point. And we gotta believe that there's a next point that's going to be better. If we don't believe that, how do we encourage them to sort of believe that? So I, I do believe in spirit. Maybe when I was their age, I didn't have the energy. I didn't have the time to believe in spirit. And so now I have that time and I think that's the way I, I wanna use my time to just sort of encourage, because I recognize how much of the world is on their shoulders. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. It's their future. So yeah. It's kumbaya. It is kind of kumbaya. But
Mia (36:23):
Back to that believe, you know, saying to young people, we see you. We're still here and we're putting this together. Right.
Mary (36:30):
We do love you
Mia (36:32):
And we love you. Right. We
Mary (36:33):
Love you. We love you.
Mia (36:36):
Thank you so much Mary Scott Boria for joining me in this conversation on the Shared Power podcast. This has been truly, truly life giving and a, a pleasure. And I'm so glad we got a chance to, to talk about our age <laugh> and our ages Yeah. And what we hope and want for young people. It's been fantastic. So thank you so much.
Mary (37:01):
Thank you. I love you so much. Uh, you're doing wonderful work and you're always smiling. So
Mia (37:09):
<laugh>,
Mary (37:10):
That brings a smile to my face.