Conversation 6: Navigating Conflict
Welcome back to our series, 8 Conversations for Shared Leadership. In our last post, we discussed making decisions together. This time, we’ll explain different ways we can approach and navigate conflict at work and in our lives.
How do you approach navigating conflict?
It isn’t easy for me to come up with an inspiring story about some clear, replicable ways I’ve successfully worked through conflicts at work or home.
I don’t always work through conflicts successfully. When I’ve been able to move through conflict in a healthy way, there was never a recipe or script to follow.
Conversation 6: Navigating Conflict
Sometimes we might find ourselves associating conflicts with problems…
But let’s consider that fractures are not always failures.
For example, at work, we might experience conflicts related to whether or not we achieve certain tasks, how we engage with different work and leadership styles, or what we do with clashing values between colleagues.
However, these internal conflicts within our teams can actually reveal what may be missing elements for a truly successful work environment.
They might indicate that we need to rethink how we assign tasks or what’s required to get things done. We might need to assess leadership styles to become more self-aware of how we show up as managers or directors. Or maybe it’s time for us to re-align with our personal or professional vision and values.
In many instances, conflict can be an opportunity to clarify who we are, why we do what we do, and how we want to be in relationship with the people we work with.
This is true in our personal lives, too. Broken trust and miscommunications can serve as an invitation to see relationships differently and get clear about our individual and collective needs and boundaries…
These can be hard, painful realizations. Yet, at any point, we can choose to repair a relationship—even through conflict.
Reassessment and work towards repair can take different paths. In my professional roles and in my personal life, I’ve encountered conflict in a variety of ways: I’ve worked hard to stay in relationships with people who mean a lot to me, I’ve chosen to walk away from relationships and workplaces as a resolution to the conflict, and I’ve asked other people to let me go—so we can love and respect each other better from a distance...
It’s important to explain here that we’ve all experienced and witnessed harm, and we’re all capable of harming other people. This part of conflict resolution cannot be taken lightly, and the work to repair can be long and difficult—maybe lasting beyond even this lifetime.
Prompts for Conversation #6
You can use these prompts to inspire and expand your conversations within your team environment:
How do I respond to interpersonal conflicts when they arise for me?
How do I respond to conflicts between team members?
How might my responses be different if I see conflicts as opportunities for learning and growth?
I suggest we ask these questions first of ourselves and then share our responses with our co-leaders.
“Each conflict is an opportunity for us to go back into the past and really look at everything that we’re bringing into the present moment…and to heal all of that. ”
For more about the intricacies of navigating conflict in the workplace (and personally), I invite you to listen to this conversation on the Finding Our Way podcast: Navigating Conflict with Kazu Haga.
If you’re committed to justice and equity in social movement spaces, I recommend using the In It Together Toolkit as the starting place for identifying the roots, trying out strategies, and getting support—all while keeping your eyes on the prize.
Check out my conversation with Rebecca Subar and Aarati Kasturirangan about their work on supporting organizations through conflict. You can watch this episode of the Shared Power Podcast on YouTube or wherever you listen to podcasts. Enjoy!
Up next is Conversation 7: Embracing Our Zones of Genius.
Recommended Resource
Beyond navigating conflict and leadership coaching, Dragonfly Partners design and facilitate strategic planning, racial justice transformation, and whatever it takes to help change-making organizations get unstuck and rush forward into the breach. Check out Dragonfly's website to learn more about their liberatory approach to conflict.
Image credit: Ayeola Omolara Kaplan
You can download the infographic of the 8 essential conversations to share with co-leaders.
Be sure to listen to season one of our Shared Power Podcast to learn more about the conversations, why I believe they are key to advancing justice, and ways to apply them to our work and movements.
Learn more about Mia’s facilitation offerings based on the eight conversations.