Conversation 3: Connecting Identity and Power
How do we navigate privilege and power when we share leadership?
Years ago, I co-led an organization with a committed white cisgender man who had a strong community organizing background. Although we didn’t know each other prior to working together, we grew to trust and respect one another deeply.
However, I sometimes found myself resentful of how much I felt like I had to prove myself while he, from my observations, showed little need to do so. I was so self-conscious in rooms with power, and he was so relaxed.
Once, I remember going to a meeting together with a potential funder. My colleague wore jeans, and I wore an outfit I spent an hour picking out. Even then, the program officer only made eye contact with my white, male colleague. Even when I asked questions, the person answered by looking only at the white guy. I was deflated after that meeting. And later, when we talked about it, I was shocked when my colleague said he hadn’t noticed at all how I’d been ignored.
For this installment of our series on 8 Conversations for Shared Leadership, let’s delve into how our social identities impact how we experience privilege and power differently on teams.
To truly feel seen (and to see others, too)—it’s crucial that we proactively acknowledge our identities and how they do (and don’t) give us social power. To understand how our identities impact our approach to work, we need to talk about how we hold (or release) power and the barriers we face.
When we’re clear and honest about our identities and their relationship to power, we have more capacity to hold tough conversations about the push and pull of shared leadership.
Prompts for Conversation #3
You can use these prompts to inspire and expand your conversations within your team environment:
How do my identities impact my feelings of belonging?
When do I feel powerful at work? When do I give away my power?
What biases do I hold that may be barriers to shared power?
I suggest we ask these questions first of ourselves and then share our responses with our co-leaders.
To unpack the relationship between our identities and their relationship to power, I invite you to enroll in our {free} Power Flower Course. You can work through the whole course in an hour or less! (And you can do it on your own OR with your team.)
Learn how I built trust with my white, male colleague, Brian Brady, despite our different social identities and experiences by watching Episode 5 of The Shared Power Podcast on YouTube. Brian is NOT the person who wore jeans to the meeting, however, we still had so many things to work through together.
Up next is Conversation 4: Uncovering Communication Styles.
You can download the infographic of the 8 essential conversations to share with co-leaders.
Be sure to listen to season one of our Shared Power Podcast to learn more about the conversations, why I believe they are key to advancing justice, and ways to apply them to our work and movements.
Learn more about Mia’s facilitation offerings based on the eight conversations.